Thursday, 11 March 2010

BoE: 'Photocopier Jammed. QE Over.'

BRITAIN'S central bank, The Bank of England, today announced that its policy of printing money to ease the financial crisis, is over.
Quantitative Easing (QE), a favoured policy of financial luminaries like Hitler and Robert Mugabe, involved creating billions and billions of pounds literally out of thin air.
The monetary authority's cunning plan ground to an unexpected halt today however, when it's photocopiers packed in.
Square Mile technical analyst, Alistair McTechnical, was not surprised. 'Something had to give. You can't just print off billions of pounds, cross your fingers and hope for the best. With the best will in the world, you'll never find a photocopier that can take that kind of workload. It was inevitable that it would burn out. I'm only surprised it didn't happen sooner.'
The challenge now facing BoE mandarins is how to pass off the whole exercise as a success to a general public which, frankly, isn't stupid.
Chairman Mervyn McMervyn told The Mutter: 'Listen. It's like my Gran used to say; "You've got to try everything once," and to be honest, we'd tried everything else.
'It is a bit of the pity that the extra £200billion we created went more or less straight into the accounts of the people who got us into this whole mess but at least we can hold our heads up high and say: "We tried".

No comments:

Post a Comment