Saturday, 3 July 2010

Public Sector to 'Lose' 600,000 Jobs

THE newly-established Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR) says the British public sector is likely to lose around 600,000 jobs by 2014.
It is understood that Government ministers will probably leave most of the jobs on trains and in the backs of taxis.
Details of the losses will not be made public until the spending review in October but officials are believed to be mulling over a wide range of places where jobs could be accidentally 'lost'.
Other locations under consideration include:

  • The tube

  • Wetherspoon's pubs on Saturday nights

  • Down the back of the couch

  • On the beach in Spain

  • Through the Looking Glass

  • Mordor
The OBR hurriedly released its figures after a leaked document seen by the Guardian newspaper showed the figure to be even higher.
Government sources insist though that the leaked document had been written before the election and that they "were only kidding".
Prime Minister David Cameron blamed it all on Gordon Brown.
He said: “It's all Gordon Brown's fault.
"Like every Labour Government, they left us with unemployment rising but we will, by the end of this Parliament, have unemployment falling. Mark my words.”
We will Dave.

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